First of all, can someone tell me if this rule applies to posting it in a blog? I would much rather cut and paste the entire article instead of just copying the URL. However, that’s what I’ll do for now since I don’t want to make the powers-that-be somewhere mad.
The winners have been announced for the 2011 Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest, named after British author Edward George Bulwer-Lytton, whose 1830 novel "Paul Clifford" begins with the oft-quoted opening line "It was a dark and stormy night."
Here’s Sue Fondrie’s Grand Prize winner:
“Cheryl's mind turned like the vanes of a wind-powered turbine, chopping her sparrow-like thoughts into bloody pieces that fell onto a growing pile of forgotten memories."
Next is John Doble’s winner in the historical fiction category:
"Napoleon's ship tossed and turned as the emperor, listening while his generals squabbled as they always did, splashed the tepid waters in his bathtub."
Finally, this is my favorite, Mike Pedersen’s Purple Prose winner:
"As his small boat scudded before a brisk breeze under a sapphire sky dappled with cerulean clouds with indigo bases, through cobalt seas that deepened to navy nearer the boat and faded to azure at the horizon, Ian was at a loss as to why he felt blue."
I think I’d feel blue, too.
Just in case the copyright police find this blog, I’d better include the actual URL so you can read the entire article: http://www.usatoday.com/news/offbeat/2011-07-26-worst-writing-contest_n.htm
Hmm. Somehow I don’t think I should use these as examples to help improve my own writing. But, in case you'd like some laughs, here is more than anyone would probably like about the contest and its winners over the years: http://www.bulwer-lytton.com/