Sunday, January 10, 2010

Time to Leave the Beach – January 8, 2009

The past month has been a wonderfully quiet, peaceful, much needed break with many long walks on the beach at both low and high tides and lots of time to think. I’ve found an amazing quantity and variety of shells I’ve never found before. I’ve watched two different kinds of pelicans as well as herons and gulls. I’ve become reasonably able to get along using Spanish, and haven’t used American money once during this time, becoming quite comfortable with pesos. I’ve met many wonderful people and have become aware of how much I have; I’m wealthy in so many ways, including financially, at least in comparison with things I’ve seen here. I’ve made a good friend in David, but now realize that relationship will need to stay at friends only. This has been an excellent time to get a good start in finally learning that I have a choice in how far a relationship goes. Right now any kind of relationship would be on the rebound and not a good idea for anyone.

It’s time to leave the beach and the alone-ness for a while, to be around people again, to have access to internet without having to drive into town each time to use it. Perhaps I’m hooked on it. However, it’s been a constant source of information and communication for so many years that withdrawal is impossible. I’ve made too many friends through email and Facebook and feel it’s important to keep in touch with them.

I now know that staying here in San Felipe for a month instead of continuing on with Beth and Jean was the right thing to do, for me, at this time. I’ll always appreciate their invitation, and traveling all the way down to the tip of Baja and back would have been fun. However, I needed the time alone more. So, perhaps another time.

This time at the beach has helped me get over the worst of my disappointment with the ending of a relationship, although it still hurts whenever I think too much about it. This has been a time of realizing I still love and miss him very much, no matter what, and probably always will. I know the current recommendation is to make a clean break when a relationship ends. However, I am unable to do that, at least not right now.

We’re leaving here Monday morning to drive across the border and up to Blythe for the Bluegrass Festival next weekend. David would like to stay at the campground in Blythe for a month and then return here. I’ll most likely be there two weeks before heading up to the Desert Tower to stay until leaving for Kanab the end of March. My very good friends Fran and Rich will also be returning to Parry Lodge this year, and I’m looking forward to seeing them again so much.

I’m learning that things usually work out the way they’re supposed to, as much as I might disagree with how that goes. That’s not to say that some things aren’t hard to deal with, though.

San Felipe has been a wonderful experience, one I'll definitely repeat.

No comments: